To me, the aim of spiritual growth is to be able to form clear communication with your greater CI, and to receive useful knowledge and wisdom to assist in navigating the difficulties of this human life, to be a bridge to the other parts of your Self and foster balance within the turbulence which is this human/earth reality.
This does not necessarily mean finding peace, or finding bliss, or finding happiness, or finding financial support. None of those states are of themselves indicators of the attainment of a greater degree of spiritual maturity. A murderer, liar or cheat can feel and experience the same.
There is no need to feel unhappy if you do not feel happy. The idea that the earth human plane is an open field of opportunity where labour and commitment to principals will bring the rewards of peace and bounty is just that - an idea - a projected thought. The fact that it becomes a truth for a person's life path does not make it a truth overall, nor a foundational function within this present reality.
There is also no evidential support for the idea that this reality is as a whole a system of loving-kindness, underpinned by a benevolent sentience. Are there benevolent beings within the planes of the detectable reality? I would say yes. Are they the god of all and able to grant your earnest desires for health, providence and harmonious purpose like a jolly parent handing out tasty sandwiches? I do not really think so myself.
A life spotted with betrayal, smacked with contention, lacking in resource, having no range of experience beyond mundane walls is not evidence of a lack of spiritual attainment. It is evidence of a difficult situation.
I have walked a path of seeking spiritual understanding since I was old enough to observe and reason. I have sought for the invisible planes which seemed to me to hold firm memory of greater connectivity, compassion, sense, sanity and harmony this entire life and always the sound barricade between layers kept me out. This plane I live on leaves me feeling underwhelmed by colourlessness and wrapped in distressed frequency. Yet in no way do I feel that I am failing at my spiritual journey, nor do I feel that the state of happiness or freedom from this cacophony of mediocre sensory input is my aim.
This is a damaged realm. To feel depressed and hopeless here is to be expected. Even more so if you are seeking to engage more complex conscious awareness. You see more, feel more, understand more, all whilst seeking to become less engaged in the machinations of it.
How my spiritual life looks is particular to myself, with all the nuances I establish and require according to the preferences of my larger and smaller CI in concert agreeing upon a pathway.
My preference is to update my processes regularly. If a paradigm of thought pertaining to the spiritual nature of my reality loses efficacy for me, I will release it, permitting other etheric structures to form. How others perceive my outlay is none of my business at the human level. Presently I enjoy exploring the practice of 'dispassion' towards charged points of information which come my way, and charges which erupt from my own surface in response to stimuli in the ethers.
Using the word 'dispassion' in place of other words to conceive of this mode of response has been satisfyingly useful. 'Neutrality' was not so useful. It does not attach readily to a mental lattice of word associations to give a detailed instruction of what 'be neutral' looks, feels and acts like. Be 'dispassionate' hits the mark for me, like hitting the mute switch on emotional outlay and investment.
May peace find you at home today.
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