Many times, we need to chill the f*ck out. So much expectation, fear, angst, striving, distress. All caused by thinking, and feeling based on thoughts.
For now, I am going to find a thread of 'chill the f*ck out' and pull it a whole lot closer.
I work on websites and recordings, and other art and writing related things a lot, because I enjoy playing with website layout and feel most myself when outlaying my frequency in those expressions. Life is pretty mundane for most of us, we don't have lives like those presented in scripted shows and instagram accounts. I don't even manage to manifest a day by a creek with a fire like the one in the video shared here. I use Youtube to visit the outdoors of wild beauty, and Youtube to hear the soft voice of strangers who want nothing from me. I visit art galleries via Pinterest, and see lovely scenery and architecture there too.
I live in modern suburbia, with loud traffic, artless architecture, streaming busy-ness, dwindling greenery, millions of people, an hour drive to find a vista, no silence, no stillness, harsh sounds and constant wi-fi bombardment. I do my utmost best to keep an even keel and find beauty in a single moment, which I can stretch out to fill a space around me to move in.
I don't meet with people. I don't take walks in the woods. I don't sit by streams. (Not because I couldn't be bothered to take the time, but because the environment of life does not facilitate these experiences). I stand outside on concrete and take deep grateful breaths of air which smell mildly of wet trees occasionally or pleasantly smokey from a nearby backyard grill. There is a narrow tract of bushland nearby which I am so thankful for some might think it was the wilds of Australian backlands.
I am relieved that I do not live on a garbage dump, although garbage does collect along the sides of the roads. Dumping their garbage is what people do.
My life experience has been one of crisis and housework. That's it pretty much. And so what? Some years back, I ceased with pushing to make a life experience as per human expectation, and just pulled up anchors to let the wild weirdness of something undefinable take the course of my boat into hidden waters.
Now to develop the fortitude to stand up in my boat, wearing whatever clothes came stuffed under the seats, because it doesn't matter if I feel awkward and it doesn't matter if I look tubby and it doesn't matter if I do not fit societal norms in any genre of culture. This is just a slipstream ride and I need to chill the f*ck out to enjoy it more.
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