The days. Interesting. Agitating. Directional. Pointless. Speaking in circles. Listening in rounds.
My work 'Retiring the Bodhisattva' (recorded in May 2018) has been playing on repeat, so I surmise that I am at another point of elevation in this process of releasing the need to do and hold for others. Releasing more of the need to labour with suffering for the sake of something outside myself wanting help and attention.
Accepting a clearer film of understanding that I cannot stand in agreement with the mental processes of the species whose form I inhabit is going to be washing me into 2021 like the unimpressive waves of a North Queensland beach.
The Cosmos offers up no new secrets and I have no pearls of intellect to share; preferring to speak to myself in Spherespeak. I am thinking more and more that the thoughts and evaluations I had set by the age of 8 are still holding; and that after 40 years of trying to negate those conclusions by fighting my nature and persistently forcing myself to engage with an insane reality which has no place for me, it really is time I stopped my own suffering.
With that in mind, I am releasing form 726. My CI informs me that this is a shell I picked up somewhere around the 12th year of this life; some unexplained version of human persona - a way to pretend inclusion within a stream of belief calling itself Life; a waveform on which to assimilate and survive. I don't want to assimilate now. Well, advertising the obvious, I seem innately incapable of assimilating, hence the suffering.
What does it look like when you pull the totality of your energetic signature and presence from out of a numbered persona form? I have no clue, at all. It may be a slow burn kind of thing, hardly noticeable within the flow of my experience. It may be a rock and roll concert. I hope it's a walk in a forest on a cool breezy day kind of happening.