I don’t have to excel.

I don’t have to be engaging. I don’t have to be socially relevant. I don’t have to be a fountain of amazing projects or be the light which warms the hearts of passing strangers.

I can be the puddle on the side of the highway. I can be the leaf beneath the fallen gravestone. I can be the spot on a white curtain.

Setting boundaries is massively difficult work, when you have been trained and configured over vast horizons of time/space to be available to the whim of every mind wanting assistance to create. I have contorted myself into all manner of uncomfortable shapes to fit into the designs of others over millennia.

Now I push desperately to build my own shapes , having laboured long years to extract myself from the architecture of others. And it is hard work. Every time I step in my direction, the training pulls and tugs for me to fit into little boxes in the predictable patterns of human personality programming.

How hard it is become to set these borders, ignoring the conditioning which tells me I am being mean or demanding of others, when truly I am being kind to me.

I, my conscious self, is not human. It is not anything this place knows of. It is not anything my own human mind construct is engineered to perceive. I am setting boundaries around a field of being I cannot map. And this working without being able to watch where my hands are makes my human nervous system freak the crap out.

I do not have to excel, I tell myself today. Repeatedly. I do not have to have access to answers for every question asked. I am not responsible for the health and state of others.

I do not have to make my system and journey as neat and tidy and convenient for others as they may prefer it to be.

I do not have to instantly understand everything someone else is telling me or expecting me to comprehend. I can ask questions for clarity. I do not have to turn myself into a pretzel to keep the waters of another’s emotion body still so their tossing waves do not crash against my unclear boundaries.

I can make boundaries - And survive -without being completely available through all completions of time in space.

We can learn to all work cooperatively as one. We should not be forced to exist as if we Are all One. In this mentally all are told they are The One and others the subsidiary to their Creation, even if the kingship is subtly suggested.

We are not all the Same emanation of creating force. We Are Not.

This present universe is the formulation of one massive exploding moment, not one of benevolent design but the resulting cataclysm of youthful arrogance.

Many self-created singularities of conscious awareness entangled in the exploding tide. This does not make all here of one source of creating awareness. It makes the manner of arrival shared. And the method of exit a cooperative exercise of disentanglement.

When a pathway separates it does so to find boundaries for a singularity of conscious expression.

I release all entangled quanta from my orbits. I express no form of guilt-ing burden on any spark-thought not travelling with my stream.

I do not have to excel at expressing my intentions or desires before I can move towards their placement and outcome.

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I place links all over this website, to make connections for people to find the information they may require. Someone once said to me that working with people can be like 'herding cats'. I would agree. Not to be insulting at all, it is an accurate picture phrase. I recognize the massive amounts of programming at play which keep people from seeing for themselves, from reaching, from clicking, from reading. If anyone sends me a message asking for information which could have been found in the policy FAQ section or any other page on this website, my response will be a hyperlink to the pertinent page and a direction to read.

I have immense Compassion for all Life. But I am the Crone not a kindergarten teacher. Time for me to act like the Crone who has confidence in her Mastery.